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YOU Are Such A Babe!

Posted by maryem Posted on: 10/15/08

YOU Are Such A Babe!

Only 2% of women around the world use the word beautiful to describe themselves.

Only 2%? Doesn't that seem crazy? Absolutely bizarre and unjust and totally wack? (Sorry to bring you back to the nineties there, but a strong word was needed).

If you're like me, you read a stat like that, and you completely agree that it is crazy, absolutely wild that so many women don't think of themselves as beautiful.

But if you're like me, deep down inside, you also understand.

On a good day, I can look in a mirror and see pretty  Sometimes cute.  My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, but he's sort of biased, right?  And for every one nice feature I can see in myself, five not-so-nice features peer out at me from the mirror.

It's always been this way.  My friends are the same.  The first thing one of us says when trying on a pair of pants is not, "damn, I look good!" but, "do these make my butt look ok?"

And we are not alone.  All but 2% of the women in the world feel this way.  And only 1% described themselves as sexy.  So few described themselves as gorgeous that it didn't even make the global radar.

I am these women, too.  I would not tell someone that I was beautiful.  It's just asking to be shot down.  But things like "I feel so fat today", or "I'm having an ugly day" are ok and common.

So many women, more than documented I am sure, have eating disorders.  So many fantasize about plastic surgery to feel good about themselves, changing their outsides because they feel bad inside.  So many judge themselves by comparing their faces to the airbrushed and over-made up faces in fashion magazines.  

I am these women, too.

BUT, so many women are so, so beautiful when they laugh.  

I am these women, too. So are you, gorgeous.

**All facts are from the "The Real Truth About Beauty, A Global Report" by the Dove Real Beauty Campaign**

ALSO, if impossible hotties in ads or magazines ever get you down, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

 


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  • The question of whether a woman thinks she is beautiful triggers the things you suggest. And more. One thing to consider is grace. Some things cannot be gracefully self-declared. One cannot declare oneself a hero. It's hollow. You're only a hero if others have experienced you as such. While I am very self-critical of my appearance, I could not claim that I am beautiful. But ask me whether others find me beautiful, I could comfortablysay, yes, others have said I'm beautiful..... There is also the interpretaton of the question. Is it simply physical beauty? Last week my 8 year old daughter and I met some people and a man commented that she was beautiful. She was overwhelmed and wanted to understand why people think she's beautiful. I explained that she has pretty features, but more than that she has a warm heart and is thoughtful. She replied, "So, if I had a twin who was mean, she wouldn't be beautiful?"
    By allison on October 16, 2008 06:23

  • Too narcissistic. I don't buy the premise.
    By Dan Weisman on October 16, 2008 08:25

  • My grandmother always said "pretty is as pretty does" and "beauty is only skin deep". Those old adages still hold true in my book. Not everyone buys into the glitz and glamor mentality.
    By Kimberly Michalski on October 16, 2008 13:42

  • I undersatnd what you are all saying. What I'm trying to get through here is not that looks are more important than actions, or that we should all talk about how great we are all the time. Narcissism is defined as "extreme selfishness with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration". That is not what I was going for in this piece, and I'm sorry if it came of that way. My argument is that the situation is a sad one. Many women (and men as well, I'm sure) are made to feel ugly by our society and a media that glorifies impossible beauty standards. No one should be made to feel this way. And it's not, I believe, a question of grace. I am not suggesting that women brag incessently about how hot they are, but that they feel good in their bodies, and feel ok about saying so. Denying beauty isn't graceful, it's false.
    By maryem on October 16, 2008 17:07

  • This excerpt from Walt Whitman's Song of Myself (Leaves of Grass) sort of describes what I'm going for here. It's one of my favorites. Connection with and love for our bodies and our selves connects us with the world around us in a healthy and grounded way: "I dote on myself, there is that lot of me and all so luscious. Each moment and whatever happens fills me with joy" ~Walt Whitman
    By maryem on October 16, 2008 17:11

  • I think you're right, and you might enjoy parts of this article that a friend posted to my comments: http://www.the1585.com/femalearrogance.htm. I don't agree with all of it, but it's a fascinating read, and it's mostly about how more women ought to stand up and realize that they're hot, because that really unlocks your potential for creativity and learning.
    By anewphilosophy on October 16, 2008 18:17

  • Thank you! I'll check it out
    By maryem on October 16, 2008 22:11

  • Oh, I agree with you that it's a tragedy that we are made to feel ugly or inadequately attractive. Feeling good about ourselves and having a positive relationship to our own bodies is key to healthy living. What I was saying is that the question of seeing ourselves as beautiful triggers a host of thoughts and feelings that range from the unhealthy ones where we can't feel the power of our inner or outer attractiveness. It's all part of a society that claims to be about individualism but works at every turn to undermine the individual expression of power. I am reminded of the Marianne Williamson quote that Mandela used where she spoke about how shameful it was for us not to own and use our power for the greatest good. But there are also healthy reasons for not self-declaring one's own beauty. That doesn't mean you can't feel it, but it is up to others to proclaim it for you. This is obviously a complex topic of exploration. Thank you for bringing it up.
    By allison on October 23, 2008 23:44

  • "But there are also healthy reasons for not self-declaring one's own beauty. That doesn't mean you can't feel it, but it is up to others to proclaim it for you. " yikes, really? I disagree. It's nice when people say you're attractive sure, but I don't think that it's ever healthy to require others to define you to the world. I'm still learning this lesson - that it is ok to assert yourself and declare who you are, good and bad, without depending on others. This is especially difficult for women, I think.
    By maryem on October 30, 2008 21:50

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